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My new boyfriend—let's call him John—and I were walking hand-in-hand from our hotel room at Hedonism II, the infamous clothing-optional, adults-only resort in Negril, Jamaica, to our first Tantric sex class.

I whispered to him, "So, listen. Everyone's focused on their own partner. No one will be looking at you," I tried to assure him. For one, I'm not that comfortable walking around naked. From the bed to the bathroom is fine. But it's not like I make a habit of just hanging out and cooking breakfast without a stitch of clothing.

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The thing is, we were booked on the Nude side of the resort, where you have to go naked, as opposed to the Prude side, which is clothing optional. Hedo is known for its swingers' parties, so we basically thought it would be one big orgy which naked kind of frightened me.

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Even pictures Hedonism II wasn't exactly what we anticipated, we learned a lot. Here, a few of the biggest lessons we took home.

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As we stood nude on our suite deck about to step out into the world of Hedo for the first time, I turned to John and said, "Oh thickbutty God. My vagina is out.

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Jamaican can't do this. I chugged.